Road tripping without a map? Reconsider...

What is a life without some sort of brainstorming and planning? 

What is a life without some form of uncertainty and confusion? 

Quite simply...Life. 

With the exception of divine intervention and Powerball winners, many of us must take responsibility and action in prepping for the future. A wedding is in no way any different. To disclose all, Shari and I are still in an ongoing state of planning for our special day, the one competitive advantage we now have is a road map to help us to our destination. Why you may ask? Do you drive from point A to point B without directions from Siri (Google Maps) to get you to your destination? Probably not. Why?

1.) Gas although cheaper is still expensive (word to the Prezzy)

2.) You don't want to get lost. (Then spend MORE money/time trying to be found)

Why would you delve blindly into the planning of a wedding without a budget (or roadmap)? Research shows the average wedding in the United States costs $25,200. Sure, this might not be your first rodeo or you've been a gut-feeling type of person/couple, and that's great - this might not be for you. Everyone else with Sallie Mae whispering in your ear - hear us out.

A road map, GPS or at the very least compass can, literally, be the make-or-break in how much stress you as a couple want to or are capable of enduring. It is especially important if you have two independent, pseudo-crazy lovers "attempting" to combine their previous experiences, personal desires, and vision to reach a collaborative goal. It is difficult. It is ugly and there will be heated, civilized discussions (mandatory). But it's a necessary conversation to get out of this thing alive. When you start shopping for wedding things you can easily get caught up. Keep in mind that when you are planning, everything is marked up 100% because of the words "wedding" or "bride". So plan something that's true to you, but true to your pockets as well. Remember the wedding is one day. The marriage is where the real investments should be made.

An ideal wedding for me was private, intimate, and cheap. Emphasis on cheap. The frugal side of me seems to always prevail. I really wanted something that would be appreciated by those that really love and care about me and my relationship. I was willing to be practical (not frugal), however, I was not going to compromise if it was something I couldn't live without. Later I would find I didn't really know what I can't live without (again, another post smh). It is with the initial talks that we identified that some compromise was badly needed - trust it took some fine wining and dining (Fajitas and Tequila shots) to gain traction but we found middle-ground, eventually. Conversations and compromise can take you a long way. 

Our negotiations led us to a joint decision to set a realistic financial cap that was soft, in nature, to allow some wiggle room. A figure modest enough that we were not breaking the bank or taking on ungodly amounts of debt. Yet, it was practical enough to meet our standard of quality we both desired for each other and our guests. This cap limit gave us a tangible number and allowed us to track exactly how every penny would be spent. Being honest about our expectations made the process that much easier.

Check this budgeting tool we used that is already formatted and provides an adjusted estimated vs. actual column, at your convenience: 

http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/wedding-budget.html
Again, if you are a more tangible person, the wedding planners that I listed in the previous post (The Matrimony....[Word to Wale] have a section for budget planning. 

With that, if you are newly-engaged or seriously-considering, take two things to heed. First, there is great power in setting a financial foundation. There are so many factors to consider that the level of significance can not be overlooked. Secondly, please re-consider doing any road trip in life without a road map - it might be all the difference. 

Till next time...

| Shari & Donovan 10.03.15 |

The Matrimony... [word to Wale]

Context is an important concept. It is especially critical for writers trying to gain an audience - their loyalty and confidence. We have taken many lumps leading up to this moment and we are still six months away from the official "jumping of the broom". This week we wanted to introduce you to our duel editing style. Whenever, the text color remains neutral (greyish-white) that will be Donovan's perspective and if the text color changes (pink) that will become Shari's point-of-view. Interjection may happen, frequently. Don't panic. 

From the outside looking in, it doesn't seem like much is involved. A cake, a dress, a man. But let me tell you, there is much more to it than meets the eye. Does the venue fit our personality? Do I really care about these flowers? How will my pictures look here? 

These are jokes, but spending this kind of money is a very serious matter (skeeeeeeee-wee!). So let me just give a little break down about what we've covered so far:

Budget decided upon

Venue (included catering, reception necessities)

Dress (unaltered with no undergarments)

Bridsmaids selected and invites shipped to them

Groomsmen selected and chain text messaged to them

Bridesmaid dresses picked out and ordered

Bridesmaid shoes picked out and ordered

Groomsman tuxedos picked out and measured

Flowers

Band

Officiant 

Photographer

Wedding website created (www.theknot.com/us/sjdc1003)

Engagement pictures taken

Save the Dates ordered 

Guest list composed

Cakes tasted (not chosen)

I definitely feel like I've gone through more than that but that's the list for the most part. I thought it was important to kind of lay things like this out, especially for future brides, because you have to absolutely know what your getting into, as far as, wedding planning. I have one go-to for you that has made things a lot easier : THEKNOT.COM . My friend Tish introduced me to this site and it has definitely been extremely helpful in the planning process. They even have a calendar feature that keeps you on track with the important deadlines involved. 

For those of you like me who need something tangible, I also suggest a wedding planner book. I bought one from Barnes and Noble  and was also sent one from a friend ("The Very Best Wedding Planner Organizer & Keepsake" - thanks Toni!). Those are great to take to appointments, to make notes, and to have a central location for all of your information (in case you drop your phone in a bowl of Ramen noodles... Not that I know from experience...).

It's also important to have some good cooks in the kitchen. My mother, MOH, bridesmaids, and future grandmother in-law have been integral in my decision-making. Always remember that delegating tasks is OKAY. It's actually necessary in my case because I can work up to 80 hours a week and sometimes there's just no time! I could have gotten a wedding planner but I really wanted to be hands-on - so delegating was my cheaper way of compromising... 

Even though The Knot has been amazing, one thing that we have decided to work on moving forward is including black businesses. With that being said, it is EXTREMELY difficult to find black businesses to support. That is that B.S. we don't like.. Damn! Obviously, this is is a completely different post, but in short - encourage your local/fellow entrepreneurs to invest in a website (even Facebook page WITH photos) or becoming a part of an opportunity like The Knot where their business can be displayed. Help me to help you....

Yeah, what Shari said...

With that, we're off to One Spark Jacksonville! Until next time....

With love,

|Shari & Donovan - 10.3.2015|

Wedding Organizer links:
"Simple Stunning Wedding Organizer" http://amzn.com/1584799021
"The Very Best Wedding Planner Organizer & Keepsake" http://amzn.com/1936061074

The Launch

The P l u s + o n E has officially launched

Using this avenue, we hope to capture our journey into marriage and the enjoyable but tedious process of wedding planning. It is our goal to offer a voice to new-age relationships and a platform that attracts progressive conversation about love, success, and growth. 

We hope to entertain honest dialogue and in order to juxtapose this - Shari and I must understand the imperfections that come with merging two paradigms, two lifestyles, and two personalities under one roof. Like others, we experience the day-to-day struggles and distractions that face many across the nation. We are just learning the way of the world and what is acceptable as the natural order of things. 

Before plodding forward, we wanted to ensure we knew who we were and make sure our audience knew, too. Therefore, check out our wedding website for our biography, how we met, and the proposal: 

www.theknot.com/us/sjdc1003

This is just the trial to our blog but the initial stepping stone to marriage...so sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!

|Shari & Donovan - 10/3/2015|